That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
