I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
