Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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