I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
