3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Randomize
