She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
