he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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