I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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