Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
