he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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