It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
