ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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