Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
