my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
