Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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