We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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