I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
