Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
