Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
