closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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