I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
