she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
my shit smells like andre
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
