So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
