did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
