wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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