Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
