i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
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