you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
