Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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