Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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