fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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