I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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