Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
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