i need an iv and a liver transplant
Fuck appropriateness.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
