Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
