Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
