Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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