Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(443): View more from Maryland

8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..

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(407): View more from Florida

do you ever just like the smell of your farts?

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(239): View more from Florida

yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.

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(217): View more from Illinois

just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

She just messaged me 19 sad faces.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good

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(604): View more from British Columbia

She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed

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(253): View more from Washington

So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?

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