Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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