Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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