38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
