And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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