i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
