Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
