I CAN MOONWALK!
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
