My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
