what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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