Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
her facebook's as public as her vagina
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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