I wish my penis had an off switch
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
