i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
