it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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