i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
