How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
