It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
