I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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