is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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