i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
just tell him i said nine months
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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