what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
