she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
and you fell through a lawn chair
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
