I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I touched a dick in church today
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
