Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
